Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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