Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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