No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
