Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
