So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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