Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
