When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
