i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had to coat check the pizza.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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