Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize