don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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