i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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