Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
