I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
