You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
