A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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