Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize