Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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