i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
