He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
