did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're like the curious george of whores
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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