it's like iHOP with fire
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
