Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
