I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
