It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
