I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
