I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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