it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
