dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
