she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
