i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize