i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
