Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
