I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
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