i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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