Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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