Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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