Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
