Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
