Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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