somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Girls should come with a carfax report
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
