look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
