SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
