I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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