on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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