the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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