i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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