I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
