Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You took a bar mat shot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
