I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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