wrigley field is MILF paradise
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
