I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i think my tv is drunk
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
