he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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