I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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