Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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