I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
