Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
