you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize