Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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