How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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