shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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