I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
